Is your self-talk positive?

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Is your self-talk positive?

Postby Traci on Sun Dec 02, 2007 3:07 am

Positive thinkers are better able to cope with stress. I must admit that I am always waiting for something to go wrong. If fact, I consider myself an Eeyore (from Winnie the Pooh). In other words, my self-talk is negative. Any positive self-talk is guarded. It's like I'm still looking over my shoulder. Positive thinking can be learned.

Is your self-talk positive? Do you have any self-affirmations? What helps you stay positive? Are there any books you find helpful?

Thank you.
Traci
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Postby Audrey on Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:39 pm

Traci,

I just read an article the other day that was excellent:

Decide It's Ok For You

Have you ever been in a position in your business where you feel like you're doing everything you can, and yet the results just aren't coming your way? Maybe someone in your team is experiencing this frustration right now.

At times like this, I recommend looking into yourself and the things you say to yourself on a daily basis. Many people don't realise that the person we speak to most often is ourselves! Every day we experience almost constant self-talk, which forms the basis of our core beliefs and attitudes.

One of the areas of self-talk that can really limit our potential is our attitude to our own success. We grow up being taught that we shouldn't show off. We shouldn't make little Susie feel bad by telling her our math grade was higher than hers. We should not take compliments well. We should blend in and not make anyone feel uncomfortable by our own achievements.

Over time, we can hear these words so often that they become our own core beliefs.

Fast forward to today, when you or someone you know isn't having the success they want or the income they desire, and you can see how our self-talk may be responsible. In this situation, we can have self-limiting beliefs that we are barely conscious of.

So, when you find that despite your efforts, success is just not coming, maybe it's time to Decide It's Ok For You.

Decide It's Ok For You to be Successful (whatever that word means to you)

Decide It's Ok For You to be Rich / Wealthy (in all aspects of life, not just financial)

Decide It's Ok For You to Earn More Than Your Husband (even if he doesn't think so)

Decide It's Ok For You to Become a Millionaire (imagine the good you can do with such abundance)

Once you make these decisions - which only take an instant - you need to change your existing beliefs; the beliefs that may have limited you for years or even decades.

If your goal is to become a millionaire, and everyone around you thinks that is a vulgar aim, you need to teach your own mind how you can not only accumulate such wealth in a way that supports your morals and values, but that during accumulation and once accumulated this wealth can help not just you but the people around you.

Similarly, if you have been programmed to believe that a woman should look after children while the man earns the majority (or entirety) of the household income, you will need to teach yourself that you can earn money while supporting your values and that your doing so will benefit your husband (reducing his pressure, perhaps) and your whole family.

In this particular example, it's important to remember that doing things for your own reasons is not selfish. Starting a business because you want to earn money yourself, or because you want to become successful in your own right, is nothing to be ashamed of. If your core beliefs are telling you that you do not deserve or are not entitled to these desires, start changing your thinking.

Often, this self-sabotage is such a subconscious action that we are not aware of it. But ask yourself these questions:-

- Have you ever, on the day of an important meeting or event, become suddenly ill and had to cancel?
- Have you ever had a prospect contact you, only for you to never ring them back because of some fear?
- Have you ever heard about a networking event and, despite being available that day, not attended because you "know" it won't be worthwhile?
- Have you ever spent the day tidying or cleaning the house despite having important work to do for your business?
- Have you ever played down your achievements to friends, relatives or colleagues?
- Have you ever described your business as "a hobby", "just something I do in my spare time", or said to someone who enquires "oh you wouldn't be interested"?

If you can answer 'yes' to any of these questions, limiting beliefs may be holding you back from achieving your true potential.

The good news? These beliefs can be changed at any time. Identify the beliefs that are limiting you, and whenever a thought crosses your mind that supports these beliefs, say (out loud if at all possible) "SCRAP THAT!" and (again, out loud if possible) replace that rogue thought with one that supports the person you are and the desires you have.

e.g.

"I'll never do this..." SCRAP THAT!
"Just because it's hard doesn't mean I have to quit."

Remember, we are all here to achieve our true potential in all of our relationships, finances, work, spirituality/religion, and community involvement.

So give yourself permission to shine.
Decide It's Ok For You...

(c) Katie Forrest, 2007
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Postby Audrey on Sun Dec 02, 2007 7:40 pm

And my answer to her article:

Katie,

Wow...what a powerful article you've written. There is a book on the market about our "inner voice". It's an excellent read. If you watch sitcoms, you'll often see characters say "oh I'm so stupid". As humans we tend to do this also. But the reality is not that we are stupid but rather we maybe didn't of something, or overlooked something. That's very different than being stupid.

One more example...women are very conscious about their weight. As women, we'll often say to ourselves "you are so fat". The reality is we might be 10 pounds overweight. This is not "fat". This is we need to work a little bit at losing those 10 pounds.

In other words Katie, I agree 100% with everything you've said.
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Postby TanyaW on Sat Mar 08, 2008 7:05 pm

I like having quotes up all around me to help stay positive. Here's what I currently have on my desk to keep me motivated:

"Action makes more fortune than caution."

and when I have bad days I take time to read this quote also on my desk:

"When you get into a tight place and everything goes against you, till it seems as though you could not hold on a minute longer, never give up then, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn."
Tanya Watson
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Mom's Talk Network
http://www.momstalknetwork.com
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Postby Mila on Sun Mar 09, 2008 5:58 am

That's a good article. I agree that it's so important to believe that it's okay for you to have all those things you want. If you don't ask for them or believe you can have them, then you're not going to to get it.
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Postby carrief on Mon Jun 09, 2008 5:55 pm

that article is great! I am fowarding a link to a TON of people!

I have actually gone to a hypnotist for a few sessions (on the recommendation of a friend, not for a specific "therapy", more just "self esteem" boosting) ... I LOVED it. I can't afford to go at the moment but i want to do a "refresher" soon. I have the tapes of the sessions which I play to relax as I go to sleep, and they really work. I wake up with a BIG smile because I had someone whispering to my brain as i go to sleep telling me all the good things about myself. I'm not joking. My hypnotist is one of the nicest people I have ever met, and he just helps his clients go deep inside their minds and LOVE themselves, FORGIVE themselves, BE GOOD to themselves.

Sometimes it is tough to have a positive internal dialog, and I like my tapes because they very often set me on the right track for the day. I don't listen EVERY night but I think they help especially when i am feeling a little "low".
~ Carrie

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