Fear – The Four Letter "F" Word

from Sarah Robinson 

The number one question I get from my direct selling clients is about the four-letter F word – Fear.  Fear of making phone calls, fear of approaching women, fear of building a business, the list goes on and on.  And the thing that breaks my heart, is these women all feel like they are the only ones feeling fear. So first let me say, you are not alone!  This kind of fear grips us all from time to time.  The trick is to know how to deal with it so it doesn’t paralyze you permanently. 

If you feel like fear has you in it’s grip, take a minute to try and discover what is underneath your fear.  What belief is driving it?  For example, “I am afraid of rejection”, may really mean “I believe that no one will want what I have to offer and I will be a failure.”  “I am afraid to pick up the phone” may really mean “I believe I will be an interruption.  People don’t want to be bothered with what I have to offer.”  Write down what you fear and then try to get at what belief is underneath the fear.  Once you do that, use a technique developed by one of my favorite gurus, Byron Katie.

This technique is not for the faint of heart.  It requires time and concentration.  But I can promise you this: if you invest in rooting out your fear, the payoff will be a focused, unstoppable energy that can take you anywhere you want to go.  So, let’s roll up our sleeves and get to work, okay?

Write down your underlying belief (i.e. No one wants what I have to offer and I will be a failure.)

Now ask yourself these questions:

Is that belief true?

Can you be absolutely sure it is true (name 5 people who unequivocally agree that it is).

How do you feel when you think this thought?  Where does it live in your body? How do you treat yourself and others when you believe and feel this thought?

What do you get out of believing this thought (This is a tough one.  Sometimes we get to stay right where we are – in safety – when we believe a limiting thought).

Without this thought in your mind, who would you be? How would you feel?  How would you treat others, and yourself, differently?

Now I want you to do what Byron calls “a turnaround”. 

      a. Turn the thought around on yourself like this: “I don’t want what I have to offer and I will be a failure.”  Is this turnaround as true or truer than your original belief?

b. Turn it around on the other like this: “I don’t want what others have to offer and I will be a failure.” Is this as true or truer?

c. Turn it around to the opposite like this: “Lots of people will want what I have to offer and I will be a success.” Is this turnaround as true or truer than your original belief?

If you replace your current belief with one of the “turnaround” beliefs, how do you feel?  How does your body feel? Can you see your fear more realistically?

Many of my clients use their turnaround statements to create powerful affirmations, deeply grounded in what their heart and mind truly believes.  You might find that helpful, too.

Next time you find yourself facing a fear that has you stopped dead in your tracks, pull out this technique and get yourself and your thoughts moving in a different direction.

Love & Success!

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