WAHM Money Woes – Not What You Think

from arika 

Hello everyone! First let me say thank you to Mila for inviting me to participate in the staff blog here at Internet Based Moms. What an exciting opportunity and I’m thrilled to be a part of it.

Just this past weekend, yesterday as a matter of fact, I got a rude awakening that I never expected to experience. Not to say that I don’t think it happens, I guess the thought just never crossed my mind that it could and would happen to me. As I was figuring the monthly bills for the family, hubby asked me to please let him know what he needed to contribute this month.

You see, normally my income pays the major bills, leaving hubby’s check to cover the “little” things like gas for the vehicles and pretty much leaves the rest of his income for “play” money. Now, if my dad were reading this, he might just cringe in his seat (as may some of you), but in our household we don’t have HIS money and HER money…we have OUR money. We share one checking account and we pool our money together. I know many couples don’t do that, but for us, it’s a trust thing. I trust him and he trusts me. Now, don’t get me wrong here, mom still controls the purse strings ;) but he always knows what comes in, what goes out and where we have room for extras.

This particular month he wanted to know what he would have left in order to finish up Christmas shopping. So, when I shared with him that due to a few out of the ordinary expenses, he would have to contribute more than normal, he was taken aback (to put things lightly). Due to his reaction, I of course reacted without thinking and immediately was upset that he actually EXPECTED me to be able to pay all the bills every month, which if you’re like I am reads “I went off!” :)

After a few minutes to cool off, I stopped and realized just how much my family depends on not only me and my business as well. Talk about a slap in the face to wake me up. Yes, I realized my income is very important to the way our household runs, but I guess I just never realized that yet again, as the mom, I’m considered the backbone of the family in more ways than just keeping the peace, cleaning the house, washing the laundry, I’m sure you get the picture. Now, don’t get me wrong, I love knowing that my family depends on me and I relish in the fact that for once they are starting to realize just how important my work is.

Do you think that means I might just get some help with the other things I do to keep the household running smoothly and everyone happy? A girl can dream right?

Until next time,

Arika

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Comments

6 Responses to “WAHM Money Woes – Not What You Think”
  1. Mara B. says:

    Arika, my husband and I have “OUR” money, too. It doesn’t shock me at all. In fact, being the old-fashioned person that I am, I figured that was the norm, rather than not. Of course, it’s been a while since I’ve contributed that much to “our” finances, but I’m glad to chip in what I do get paid to help out the household.

    When you figure out how to get the help you need in making your house run smoother, let me know. Heck, create an ebook and make a fortune! I think it would sell like hot cakes!! :)

  2. Patrysha says:

    I agree with Mara – if you figure out the secret to getting that help – bottle it up and sell it!

    Meanwhile, we’re an “our” finances family too.

    I don’t think it’s odd or old fashioned at all. Who can keep track of too many bank accounts anyway? And ugh! the fees! Just doesn’t make sense to me…

  3. Keri says:

    We also are an “our” finances family. I think it is easier for us because there generally isn’t much money left after the bills are paid, so we don’t have to worry about “his” money and “my” money.

  4. mila sidman says:

    We keep our money together too, It’s the norm for us.

  5. Annette Elton says:

    I’m out of the norm here because while we do have a joint account for household finances, and a savings account for a future vacation home, we also have separate accounts for our own purchases, investments, and retirements and so forth. I came to the marriage with two children so that is a large part of it but I am also very independent and found out the hard way how important it is for women to have credit and accounts in their name only.

    I am totally impressed with women, like Arika, that hold their family together the way they do. That takes a lot of strength!

  6. Arika says:

    I’m actually shocked at the fact that norm might just be the “our” money thing. Thanks for the replies everyone!

    Annette, thank you for the kind words. You’re right it takes a lot of strength to hold it all together and by no means do I do it well. ;) …but I’m working on it so at least I can say I try.